When I got to work this morning, a co-worker shared with me a story from a teaching tape she had listened to on the way to work. The pastor told of a woman who wanted to be buried with a fork in her hand. The woman recalled as a little girl, how at the end of a special holiday meal, her grandma would tell her to save her fork, the best was yet to come. Things on earth will be difficult at times, but the best is yet to come. How great is that! Hold on to that hope, and save your fork!

• You have thrown out the better part of the last several one-gallon jugs of milk, but still can’t bring yourself to buy the one-quart cartons.
• You called the power company and asked them to check your meter, because the hot-water bill has been way too low.
• You suddenly realize that you no longer need to include video late fees as part of the monthly budget.
• You are shocked when you notice you can push the buttons on the car radio and KNOW what station you will get.
• The bottle of shampoo has been in the shower so long you are starting to think it might be a mystical experience – kind of a loaves-and-fishes thing.
• They’ve been gone three years and you still cook enough for your husband to have seconds and thirds … and fourths.
• You still walk through the living room in the crouched position with your picking-up hand brushing the floor, even though it encounters no dirty socks.
• You ask the mechanic to check why your car is costing so little to run.
• Your cupboards overflow with uneaten school lunch treats.

From http://www.skywriting.net/inspirational/humor/empty_nest_syndrome.html

This summer as last, I’m eagerly moving moving ahead with my personal goal of fitness & exercise by projects.  What in the world is that?  Well, about a year ago, I finally faced the fact that other than mowing the lawn or carrying in groceries, my life had become so sedentary, so non-physically active, that I had added about 35 unwanted pounds.  Welcome to Empty Nest living!  At any rate, after being motivated by a talk on nutrition & fitness, I decided to implement my own plan of daily (or as often as possible) activity that involved physical work on various projects.  That, and trying to eat more carefully.  I hate diets, but I did adjust my eating routines just a little bit also…

So, what kinds of projects have I done in the past year?  Big stuff and little stuff.  I dug out the lawn next to our driveway and put in a brick sidewalk & edging (big) and repainted the doors on our shed (little).  I have worked on retaining walls, trimmed trees & bushes, installed a garage ceiling, fixed cars & motorcycles (I like to tinker) cleaned storage areas, planted stuff, and repainted 3 or 4 rooms.  I’ve kept busy with a lot of other stuff too, but the main thing is that when I look around and see something that needs to be fixed, or that I’d like to improve – I add it to my project fitness routine.  My wife Ginger also noticed that I have spent less time on the computer or watching TV this past year, and that’s not a bad thing.

I’ve also taken this approach with helping others on their projects, and doing some physical work activities to serve different folks.  Overall, these changes have helped me to stay more active, more productive, and in the long run, it’s increased my energy level and my metabolism.  (My own self-analysis – so don’t challenge me with scientific or physiological questions).  But what about the weight?  Well, it wasn’t really noticeable at first, but slowly, and over the past 12 months I’ve dropped those 35 pounds.  I’ve also found a healthy physical release from the normal tension & stress that comes with the issues of life and work as an Empty Nester.

 Now before I get myself in trouble with all those guys out there with wives shoving my comments in their face, hoping to add some guilt to a neglected honey-do list, I have to add the disclaimer that my wife Ginger never suggested or encouraged me to do any of this.  Although she’s very happy to have some things done around the house, she never imagined or suggested that I implement some goofy “project” weight loss or fitness program. 

 I’m not recommending this idea for everyone, but if you are feeling the “weight” of the Empty Nest transition, and don’t know where to start in dealing with it, maybe you ought to give my experiment a try – pick a project that will require some physical work & go for it, then keep going!  If your own living environment doesn’t have any apparent physical work needs or projects, look for a neighbor, or someone in the community who might have an area that needs to be cleaned, fixed up, or painted.  One of our new LifeGroups here at Berean (with some Empty Nesters on board) is focused primarily on community impact service – and they’re doing yard work & clean-up projects together to serve people in the community, all the while getting to know each other as friends.

 At the worst, you’ll endure something really nasty dirty, like blowing insulation (a project I will never repeat!) but at the best, you won’t be so heavy, your spouse will appreciate what you’ve done, and you’ll have the satisfaction of seeing some neglected things finally get done.

What does “empty nest” mean to you? To some of us it means we have newfound freedom; no more parent/teacher conferences, no more carpooling, no more sleepless nights (maybe:)). To others of us, it means lonliness and lack of direction for our life.

Please comment and share your joys and heartaches of being an empty nester.

-Wanda